Sweatin' with the Daleks
by AmyBella88
Summary: Rose and the Doctor have been inexplicably captured by the Daleks, but who shows up to save the day? None other than an inter-galactic fat-burning, booty-shaking Richard Simmons and his companion Honey Boo Boo! It turns out, the Daleks do have a weakness after all, and it's disco sweatin! Hilarity ensues. One-shot. I couldn't help myself :) ... please don't hate!


**Divine inspiration hit me this morning as I was working out, and this story was the result. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

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"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid this is it. There's no way out of this one." The doctor had tears in his eyes as he regarded his doomed companion. "I should never have…" he began.

"Shhh, Doctor." Rose soothed him. "There's no need for regrets now. We're together, yeah? That's all that matters."

"Rose Tyler, I… I… I love you." stammered the doctor. Instead of with words, Rose answered him with a kiss. Just as they broke apart, the door to their prison cell slid open. Two Daleks glided in, with their eyestalks trained on the Doctor and Rose.

"It is tiiiimmmeee." pronounced one of the Daleks in an ominous monotone. The doctor and Rose looked deeply into each other's eyes for the span of one breath, one breath that might have been an eternity. Then they both turned simultaneously and followed their guards out of the prison and towards their almost certain death.

How the Daleks had captured the TARDIS was a mystery. It would take a terrifying amount of power to snatch the time ship out of the vortex. It should have been impossible, really, but the doctor couldn't deny what had happened. He and Rose had been traveling back to earth for a visit with Jackie at the Powell Estate, when the TARDIS and her inhabitants had been teleported mid-flight into the clutches of the Daleks. The ubiquitous and slippery arch-enemy of the doctor, the Daleks had re-built their decimated fleet. Their first objective once strong, to capture the doctor, was now complete. Their next objective was simple, to exterminate him and his pesky companion.

Rose and the doctor emerged into a vast chamber which housed the Dalek parliament and high council. Hundreds of the heartless creatures watched excitedly as their helpless adversary was led to the place of execution. "The Time Lord will perish! Daleks are supreeeeme!" shouted the Dalek who now moved forward, gun aimed at the doctor. Rose was weeping, and knew she would be next. The doctor closed his eyes, waiting for the searing pain of the laser shot.

"EXT-ERRRR-MINNAAA…" cried the Dalek. Suddenly, there was a blast of a loud horn and the whole ship shook violently, toppling everyone to the ground.

"What, what's going on, doctor?" called Rose. The doctor's eyes were wide in surprise and confusion. Through the vast window, something resembling a colorful cruise ship was pulling alongside. A gangway unfurled from the boat, and crashed straight through the glass leading right into the room. And, to the doctor's disbelief, along the gangway ran none other than Richard Simmons.

He was instantly recognizable, with his big curly hair and striped dolfin shorts, not to mention his infectious energy. "Hello Daleks! Are you ready to sweat?" shouted Richard with glee. Oddly, every single Dalek had turned from the doctor, seemingly entranced by the exercise guru.

"Riiiiiichaaaaardddd!" they all exclaimed reverently.

"What?" the doctor interjected, "What?" he took a breath. "What?" He was rendered practically speechless by this odd turn of events. To add to the madness, a chubby little girl of about six toddled down the gangway after Richard. "And who are you?" demanded the doctor, feeling his composure slipping.

"Pshhh," the little girl made noise of derision. "I'm Alana! Also known as Honey Boo Boo, child!" She grinned broadly and snapped her fingers. The doctor cocked his head to the side, trying to decide if he was dead or dreaming. Rose ran over to the doctor.

"I know who you are!" she exclaimed. "Haven't you got a show on telly in the twenty-first century?" she asked Alana.

"Yup!" honey boo boo replied, popping the p, not unlike the doctor. She struck a pose with one hand on her hip. "I'm a celebrity!"

"But what, in the name of Rassilon, are you doing here?" asked the doctor. Richard spun around.

"We're here to PARTY!" he shouted. The Daleks all ooohed in chorus.

"And what are you _wearing_?" continued the doctor. In addition to his trademark shorts, Richard was dressed in a spangled tank top sporting the image of a weeping angel in rhinestones. He also had a bejeweled bow-tie around his neck.

"Oh this?" asked Richard, pointing to his top. "I got it as a gift from the weeping angles. I taught them how to move and groove!" Richard did a little jig. "Shy little things though, they never would dance in front of people…" he added. "And of course I've got my bow tie!" Richard continued. "Bow ties are cool, Doctor! Didn't you know that?" The doctor decided to file that thought in the back of his mind for later, and moved to the more pressing question at hand.

"How do you even know my name?" The doctor asked. Richard laughed.

"You inspired my friend, the Jagrafess!" he exclaimed. "Did you know, he's lost forty pounds since he met you?"

"Err, No, I didn't." said the doctor honestly. He raised his eyebrows.

"Not to be rude or anything," Rose interjected, "But why, exactly, are you here?" she addressed Richard.

"Oh," Richard laughed again. "We were just on my Intergalactic Cruise to Loose, and we got an SOS on the scanner! We thought we might help out, isn't that right Boo Boo?"

"Yup!" Alana answered. "Those Daleks think they're all that and a pack of crackers, but they're not!" she pouted. "We're gonna save your butts!" she squealed happily.

"That's right!" shouted Richard. "We're gonna save those buns _and_ get them movin'!" He turned to the flummoxed doctor. "Did you know that a Dalek's only weakness is aerobic dancing to some groovy tunes?" Richard asked. The doctor just shook his head, speechless.

"Well, Let's get started!" Richard shouted to the room at large. He snapped his fingers and instantly Donna Summer began to play and a disco ball dropped from the ceiling. "Welcome to the Dalek Disco!" he shrieked in excitement. All of the Daleks cheered. "Now, get those plungers in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care!" And with that, Richard began to lead the group in a fun and frenzied routine which included grapevines, the mashed potato, and the conga. "C'mon, Doctor!" He shouted over his shoulder. "You and Rose should dance with us!" The doctor was too dumbstruck to react, so Alana grabbed him and Rose by the hands and led them out on to the floor."Up, Down, Boogie oogie ooogie!" cried Richard. Rose and the doctor followed along as best they could. "That's great! You're getting it!" shouted Richard. Alana was hopping up and down, making up her own routine. After a few more minutes of this, everyone was sweating and laughing, and generally having a good time.

"Too bad Glitzy isn't here!" exclaimed Alana. "He could use some exercise. He was a real pig!" But no one could hear her over the YMCA. The doctor and Rose locked eyes for a moment as they held their arms aloft to form the letter A. As impossible as it seemed, they had been saved.

Once everyone had danced and sweated as much as they could, Richard led them in a calming cool down number. He finished by saying, "I'll always believe in you, Daleks. Never give up on yourselves!" and blowing them a kiss. Most of the Daleks were moving slowly after the exhausting work-out. Now that they had fulfilled their secret craving for 70's pop aerobics, they could re-focus on their prisoners.

"What shall become of the Doc-torrrr?" A dalek called out, in a slurred voice.

"We must destroy himmmm." answered another in the crowd.

"Too sleepy to exterminate…" The executioner Dalek trailed off, and then descended into a mechanical sounding snore. In a few minutes all of the Daleks were fast asleep.

"Taking a nap after exercise can be good idea." said Richard, conversationally.

"If I was you, I'd blow this pop stand!" Alana told Rose and the doctor.

"Good thinking." Said the doctor. "But Richard, how can we ever repay you? Rose and I owe you our lives!"

"The best way to repay me is to keep living those healthy lives!" said Richard merrily.

"I don't suppose you and Alana would fancy a trip in the TARDIS?" asked the doctor.

"Well," Richard hesitated, "I have always wanted to see the opening night performance of 'My Fair Lady'…" He trailed off.

"Right!" said the doctor, heading for the TARDIS. "New York City, March 15th 1956 here we come!"

"Yippeeee!" squealed Richard. Rose and Richard and Alana all raced into the TARDIS after the doctor. Just as the ship began its wheezy take off Alana shouted out:

"Watch out Broadway, 'cause here comes Honey Boo Boo!"


End file.
